i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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