i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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