the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Randomize
