His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
