i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
