Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
zippers are such a cool invention
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
