Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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