I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize