All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
