I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
