its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
