We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
