Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i dont even know how to be here
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
