She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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