Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
