i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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