Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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