When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
