She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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