i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i've created a new STD.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
