my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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