I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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