So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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