WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
