ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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