on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
