My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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