I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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