i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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