Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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