My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
