guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
