We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
