I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
