Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And then the night went full on bisexual.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
