my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
