u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
