well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
