and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
