I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
