There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
