ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize