so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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