kristin has been a bad kristin
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
