I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
