there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
