you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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