I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
