I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so let's talk penis.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
