Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
