am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
3 2 1 whiskey
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
