rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
