she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
