IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
