We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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