She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
