But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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