You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Randomize
